The rhetorical genius that is Tim Brewster was foisted upon us last season. It was, if I might state, the saving grace of an otherwise repulsive season. With this in mind, I feel it is my duty, my calling even, to chronicle for posterity's sake the shear amazingness of Tim Brewster's oratory.
As long as PJS is in existence, and wherever else I might blog, I shall continue to highlight the savant-like poetry that flows through Brewster. Before we get to the first installment, let's review a couple gems from a season ago.
1. Getting Knifed is Good, After All: "I asked them in the locker room after the game, 'Who feels like they've been stuck in the gut with a searing knife?' Brewster said after a 21-16 loss to Iowa. "Everybody did, and I said that's good. That means we've got a chance."
PJS Comment: Not just any knife, but a searing knife. Searing knives are so popular that if you Google "searing knife," PJS' previous coverage of the above quote is on the first page of results. Also, heretofore, I was under the impression that getting 'stuck in the gut' with a knife, any knife, is a bad thing. Wrong.
2. Choking Asses: "We're going to choke their asses out!!!"
PJS Comment: Since I watched Brewster say this (with witnesses, I swear) on the BTN before North Dakota State throttled the Gophers, I've tried to choke an ass. I've taken different angles, grips and approaches. Nothing has worked. Until someone can show me how this is done, I'm going to maintain that Brewster has some freaky side no one, except for perhaps Telly Hughes, cares to really understand.
Special Comment from Dallas Cowboys blogger The Landry Hat: I watched my first and last Gophers game the night I heard their head coach yell the word "ass." The infamous "Choke their asses out" comment somehow got through the world-class news operation at the BTN. My jaw dropped. I wasn't sure if I was watching a college football game or a UFC preview.
3. Very, Very, Good, On The Verge: "I believe this team is on the verge of greatness. We have an excellent group of young men. Very, very excellent. This is a critical stretch of games for us, and we're very very excited to be playing in them. We're trying hard to win. Very, very hard, and I think it's going to pay off Saturday."
PJS Comment: OK, so Black Heart, Gold Pants made this up in the laugh-out-loud fake interview linked above. But tell me the truth now. You believed he really said that, didn't you?
DRUM ROLL PLEASE!
It's now time for Vol. 1 in "Brewster's Pretty Darn Good Impressive Quotes."
Darn Good Impressive: "Our kids are starting to play with an edge a little bit. I think it was a pretty darn good impressive display of defense."
PJS Comment: What's impressive is Brewster's ability to string adjectives together. The quote is from the PiPress after Friday night's Spring Game. I had partially worried that Brewster had learned his lesson from a season ago. Thankfully, he has not, and I'm encouraged that he will continue to provide rhetorical genius in the season and years to come.
*** Please send submissions, along with comments to be published, in future editions of 'Brewster's Pretty Darn Good Impressive Quotes." Email pagingjimshikenjanski@yahoo.com.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Brewster's 'Pretty Darn Good Impressive' Quotes, Vol. 1
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8 comments:
Now, this is going to be a pretty darn good sweet great darn pretty impressive series to look forward to!
That was his opener. He really said that following an ugly, ugly performance. The team had two RBS and a walk-on from Olivia (pop: 2,500) led the team in catches.
None of the QBs threw a pass (in the air) over 10 yards. Spry's TD was a screen pass and run.
The defense was better, but still, there was no Decker, Thomas, Pittman or Simmons. Weber looked like the Weber of old.
Remember this quote:
"We are going to continue getting better and when August 30th comes around, we are going to be a pretty good team.”
Unless there is numerous impact incoming players coming in (on the field and not on paper), this team is a 3-9 or 4-8 team.
Yes, lurker, it's going to be a fun ongoing series!
Sports guy, I saw him make that quote, or something similar to it. I will say that he pretty much has to say stuff like that. He can't really say "We're going to suck worse than the 1-11 jokers you saw last year."
And I think you are being generous with 4 wins. Brewster has demonstrated zero ability to coach. Recruit? Yes. Coach? No.
He can Choke their asses out!!!
The Landry Hat
You need a RB? We have way too many. Which one would you like?
You need a RB? We have way too many. Which one would you like?
Sorry...Sorry.
No problem. No problem.
:-)
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